Successful people know how to talk to themselves. For this reason, I wish more clients were comfortable with one thing - the mirror.
An accurate reflection is a most valuable tool and an absolutely necessary resource in your figurative control room.
It’s difficult to be in control when you’re not seeing yourself clearly. Each person on this earth is a singular individual with customized purposes. When you hone in on why you matter, you harness power beyond your own.
How and when:
Learning how to talk to yourself effectively is an art form. It begins with your eyes, not your mouth. One of the most productive conversations I have with people is identifying their strengths and values. Having that conversation regularly with yourself is an empowering mindfulness exercise.
Tap into your purpose and you’ll see more potential. Seeing more potential can unleash a beast. A good beast.
Your mirror needs to be honest but constructive. Its role is to help identify your individuality and provide objectivity, which will clarify your focus. Learn to objectively separate yourself from your emotions and see the value in all the good that you are.
I’m amazed that some of the most compassionate people are often so hard on themselves. Learn about self-criticism and self compassion.
I mentioned in my last blog that it’s crucial to approach yourself with vulnerability, compassion, humility, and curiosity. What I didn’t mention is my favorite thing to say when I talk to myself. It's one of the most effective statements you can make. Repeat after me, “This is temporary.”
Check in with yourself daily. At least a couple minutes first thing and a couple more before bed. Make special trips to the mirror when you're stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, disconnected, anxious, or annoyed.
Spend long enough time to make a connection and slow your breathing.
Some effective questions:
Why am I struggling?
What am I afraid of? Should I be?
How is fear affecting me?
Who is in control?
What are my strengths and how can I maximize them?
What are my weaknesses and how can I minimize them?
What am I going to do now?
Always end with gratitude. What am I grateful for?
Did you know experts recommend around 40 minutes a day for mindfulness, which is a similar concept? This is double the recommendation for physical exercise! Your brain is pretty darn valuable.
Now, understand this is not an endorsement for narcissistic behavior. Too much focus on anything will swing you out of balance. Time in the mirror is more about quality than quantity.
Get to the point where you've established a productive conversation and have a game plan. Could take three minutes, could take twenty. Probably not more, or you'll get in a rut.
Once you’ve connected with your identity and expressed gratitude, the most powerful thing you can do is direct that goodness outward. Turn around. Walk out the door. Find someone to serve.
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